Problems with Thrones 5: The Bad Pussy

At least Jerome Flynn got to sing. That’s about all we got out of Dorne that didn’t make me want to sob into The World of Ice and Fire.

Tyne Sand, as mentioned previously, should have been fairly straight forward. And she was. We know she likes poison and, probably, sex. But beyond that, why does she exist? Why did any of this exist?

During the impossibly bizarre scene where Jaime and sidekick Bronn tried to rescue Jaime’s neicedaughter Princess Myrcella by walking up to her and asking her to come with them for no real reason, a fight suddenly breaks out between the Snakes and Jaime/Bronn. A terrible fight that ends when Dorne’s guards appear from nowhere to do a job they should have been doing ten minutes ago. During the fight, particularly geeky viewers will have spotted with some fear that Bronn got cut during the fight. The Hardcore know that the SS like, as their father did, to poison their enemies.

Was the loveable, plucky underdog Bronn about to die? Well, he was poisoned. And he did start to die for a bit. But then came an unnecessary scene where Bronn was spared from his fate by a topless Tyne in the cell opposite his. She offered him the antidote for the poison because she was pleased that he liked her breasts.

So an uncomfortable sort of romance had begun, had it? Sort of?

Eventually, political issues between Jaime and Oberyn’s brother, Prince Doran, the leader of the Dornish were resolved. Jaime was free to take his daughterneice home along with her betrothed, Prince Trystane, Doran’s son. As the rescuers left Dorne Under, Tyne gave her new squeeze Ser Bronn a parting kiss and uttered THAT LINE.

“You want the bad pussy”

Never has a quote felt more out of place on a series. Almost too obvious for a pornographic film, just cringeworthy.

So everything went well then? Apart from the fact that all of that was basically unnecessary, yes.

And oh yes, there was another Sand Snake, but she had very few lines and did nothing of consequence.